Fire Away
by xJasonPeterToddx
Summary: JayDick FanFiction (Boy x Boy)


Dick kneeled in front of the tombstone; he obviously didn't care about grass stains on his hundred dollar tuxedo paints. His head was bowed as he placed the bouquet of flowers between his knees and the stone. He waited a minute in silence with his head bowed, his hands tucked in his lap, before he cleared his throat to speak, "Hi Jay."

It had been five years since Jason Todd died. Every day since Dick had come to his grave to talk to him. Dick would tell him everything that he could think of, like what he did that day, what Bruce's mood was like. No matter how many times he came to see Jason, it was still hard. It was hard to see his name engraved forever into the tombstone before him. It was hard to know that his grave was robbed, and he couldn't stop that either. It was hard to know Dick wasn't there to save him. It was hard to know he'd never be able to feel or touch Jason again.

Dick cleared his throat and tried to swallow his tears, "I-I brought you flowers again. I know you hate flowers, but they're not technically from me...this time. Remember that florist that you used to go to, to buy me flowers? I ran into her today. She gave me these and said that they were for you, if I could deliver them. I agreed, besides it's been awhile since I brought you flowers."

Dick began to fidget with his own fingers, pinching his fingertips between his other fingers. "Bruce is doing well, so is Tim. Tim is great, but he's not you, he'll never be you." Dick reached up and brushed his fingertips under his eye, wiping away an oncoming tear. "Gotham sucks, Bludhaven's worse, nothing has changed there.

"I got a job as a cop. I know you'd give me so much crap about that." Dick smiled and imitated Jason's deeper voice, "'You, a cop Dickie bird? Please, do I need to remind you you're wanted by the cops for taking the law into your own hands? Stupid bird,'" Dick had begun crying as he talked, his voice cracking. "I know that though. Bruce put me on this assignment to break down the amount of corruption in the Bludhaven police department. I look good in the uniform, you'd think so too." Dick tried to smile, but couldn't find the strength to do it.

Dick reached up and ran his fingers over Jason's name engraved into the tombstone. "I miss you, you know." Dick leaned forward and touched his head to the cold rock, "I miss you so much Jason. I- I don't know what to do without you anymore. I survived these past years, but I can't do it anymore." Dick began to sob as he ran his fingers over Jason's name. "You're a jerk for leaving me, you're such a jerk."

Dick sat up and rubbed at his eyes. He took a shaky breath and tried to smile at Jason's tombstone. He rubbed his thumb over Jason's name again, "I still love you though." Dick held up his left hand and wiggled his ring finger; a silver band glinted in the sun. He looked down at the ring and sniffled, "I always will, that'll never change. I'll never love anyone again."

Dick kissed four of his fingers and laid them on top of Jason's name. Then Dick stood up and began to walk away, wiping at the bottoms of his eyes. He looked back at the grave once and smiled slightly, "I love you, Jay Bird, so much."

Jason looked down at his left hand as Dick walked past the tree he was perched in. He twisted the gold ring on his finger and smiled. It was the one part of Dick he had left that he could feel. Every night he came here and listened to Dick, but he could never fell him, he only had his ring.

Jason watched Dick walk away. It was so hard not to run out and hold him in his arms. It was so hard not to hold him, tell him it was okay. It was so hard seeing him so depressed.

Jason jumped out of the tree when Dick was out of ear shot and walked over to his grave. "You're right Dickie, taking the cop job was a dumb move, even if you have an actual purpose behind it. I'd love to see you in the uniform though," Jason smirked.

Jason leaned down and picked up the flowers, "I wish you knew though how much the flowers mean to me. I know I told you thousands of times that I hated them while I was alive. Now that I can't touch you, and hold you, sometimes it's the closest thing I have to you." Jason sighed and put the flowers down, "These are your favorites too."

Jason turned around and stared after the path that Dick had walked down. "I miss you so much, Dickie bird. I didn't know it was possible to feel this lonely." Jason ran a hand through his hair, "I'd say I'd love you till the day I die; but I love you even longer than that, I just wish I could prove it too you."

(Part 2)

Dick sat on a rooftop, watching the city below him. He liked these kinds of nights, where it was drizzling a warm rain, and the city below looked peaceful in shimmering lights. Dick closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the rain hit the rooftop under him, the cars below, footfalls behind him. Dick's eyes shot open to see Tim walking towards him.  
Tim sat beside Dick, "Hey."  
"You scared me."  
"Sorry," Tim shrugged and followed Dick's gaze down to the street forty stories below them. Tim looked back at Dick, "Are you okay?"  
"Yea, why?"  
Tim made a face, the I-know-something's-up-so-tell-me-the-truth face.  
Dick sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair, "I've just been thinking about Jason lately."  
"Dick, it's been three years, why are you so upset all of the sudden?"  
"Do you know I go to visit him every day? I go and I tell him every piece of news, every event I've done that day, even what the weather's like. I hope that he can hear me, that he knows I still love him. Until now, my routine has been going well, I go see him, I cry, and I leave. Do you realize how unhealthy that is, for me to cry over his grave every day? Somehow, it just makes me feel like I'm with him again. I would cry for hours every day if it meant I could feel close to him. I haven't seen him in a week.  
"Last time I went to talk to him it was our anniversary, our five year anniversary. The fifth year is your first big milestone as a couple, and I can't wrap myself in his arms and tell him how much our time together means to me. All I can do is say it to his rotting corpse. Next week will be the anniversary of his death. He died a week after our second anniversary, Tim. Now it's been three years and I still sit at home, hoping that he'll walk in from patrol. He never does, and every anniversary that could be written on a calendar is a reminder of that, his death, our wedding, his birthday.  
"Tim, I don't know why but this year is harder than it ever has been. Maybe it's because this is a big year for our marriage. Maybe it's because we decided that after five years we'd hang up our masks and adopt kids. This was going to be our year, and now I'm sitting up on a rooftop hoping that the next mugging I stop will be my last, and I can join him."  
"Dick," Tim gasped.  
"It's true though. If Kon were to die would you keep going with your life or would you hope every time you see a gun or a knife that that would be your bridge to him? Tim, every day I go to work just like Bruce wants me too. Every day I go to work and patrol Bludhaven's streets, hoping that some manic will shoot me and put me out of misery. Every day I go to Jason and almost wish I wasn't standing above him, I wish I was beside him. Every night I go patrol under another identity and wish that a crowbar would be bashed into my head. I guess life's cruel that way. Your happiness dies and you're left to suffer alone, waiting for death to consume you."  
"Dick, stop talking like that!"  
"I'm not going to kill myself, Tim, calm down." Dick stood up and looked back at Tim, "I'm just waiting for someone to do it for me." Dick jumped off the rooftop, plunging himself towards the ground. He felt the wind in his hair, the rain on his face, and hesitated before grabbing his grappling hook.  
He swung his grappling hook to the nearest building and touched his finger to his ear. "Bruce, I'm taking the rest of the night off." Dick didn't wait for a response before turning off his ear piece.  
Dick went home and changed into civvies then walked down the street to a dinner. He sat at the booth where he and Jason had last had breakfast together. He ran his hands over the table top, reminiscing where Jason's hands were the morning before he died.  
A waitress walked over, smacking her gum, "What'll it be?"  
"A piece of blueberry pie, and any liquor you have here."  
The waitress nodded and left. She returned moments later with a piece of pie and a stale beer.  
Dick chugged half of the beer, wincing as the liquor burned his throat. He smiled slightly at the bottle, Jason's voice coming to his mind, "Careful there, remember you're a light weight, Dickie."  
Dick swished the liquid in the bottle before taking another large sip.  
Jason's voice was there again, "Are you listening to me?"  
Dick blinked as a vision of Jason flashed into his head, Jason sitting across from him, smirking. Dick rubbed at his tired eyes and realized the vision wasn't going away.  
"I haven't seen you in a few days; you aren't leaving me are you?"  
Dick rubbed at his eyes again then looked across the table. Jason was sitting there, one arm draped over the back of the booth, and one leg up on the extra room of the booth. "Jay?" Dick asked, waiting for concerned, curious looks to be shot his way as he talked to himself. He picked up the bottle and waited for the looks that never came.  
"It's about time you say something. Jeez, Dick, your husband returns from the grave and you ignore him."  
Dick dropped the bottle of beer. It crashed on the table spilling beer and glass all over the counter top and his lap. "Jason," Dick gasped. Before he could do or say anything more, Jason was leaning over the counter, cupping Dick's face with his hands and kissing him. Dick's hand cupped Jason's neck while his other hand fisted his shirt. Tears streamed into the kiss, and Dick assumed they were his. Every time Jason tried to pull away, to talk, Dick would pull Jason back down.  
Dick finally pulled away, keeping his hands on Jason. He pressed their foreheads together and sobbed, "Oh my God, it's you, it's really you." He opened his eyes to see Jason Todd crying.  
Jason wiped his thumbs over Dick's cheeks, removing the tears. "I'm here, Dick, I'm here." He moved over the table and climbed onto Dick's side of the booth.  
Dick didn't even bother to brush the glass off his lap. He flung himself at Jason, curling both of his hands into Jason's shirt and sobbing on his shoulder.  
Jason hugged Dick close and rubbed his back soothingly, "I'm so sorry, so sorry."  
Dick collapsed in Jason's arms, relishing in Jason's warmth, his scent of cigarettes, leather, and rain. "What the hell are you doing here? You were dead; I was at your funeral when they buried you."  
"It's a long story," Jason sighed resting his head on top of Dick's.  
"I've gone to see you every day."  
"I know, I listened."  
Dick pushed away from Jason, "You mean you've been alive this whole time, and haven't thought to come see me?"  
"Dick, it's complicated. I woke up one day and clawed my way out of my grave. I was delirious; I had no memory of anyone or anything. Thalia al Ghul found me and dumped me in the Lazarus Pit. I was even more brain damaged after that. I ran off into some foreign country. I survived off scraps from the streets and rain water. One day I felt this pain in my head and everything came back to me, Thalia, Joker, Bruce... you."  
"How long have you been back?"  
"Two months. I didn't know how to tell you, and you went to see me every day anyway. I just wanted to watch, see if you could handle this."  
"You didn't think I could handle this? Jason, for three years I've been waiting to die, and you didn't think I could handle you being alive?"  
"It wasn't until you said you loved me on our anniversary that I realized how much you needed me, how much I needed you. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know if I should just pop up and yell surprise, or be romantic and turn our apartment into rose petal and candle land. When I saw you come in here, I thought what better place than the place we last saw each other."  
Dick kissed Jason, "I've missed you so much."  
"I know, I'm so sorry, Dick. I promise I'll never leave again."  
"I might have to get that in writing," Dick smiled.  
"Deal," Jason said, pinching Dick's chin and kissing him again.


End file.
